You will not find Musashi Munch, the famed Ninja Gnome and miniature master of twenty-seven different bladed weapons, here. If you see him, it is too late. You’ll already be dead.

Stealthy as the shadow of a whisper, cunning as a politician’s conscience, Musashi Munch trains for eighteen hours a day, meditates for six, suffers his students for three, sharpens the edge of his favorite katana (named Anklebiter) for two, hunts trolls and bogarts for four to five, depending on the season, and enjoys his favorite sake for half an hour. He does not sleep except for ten minutes every full moon.

Many years ago when he reached the rank of 99th Degree Ultra Midnight Belt, Musashi Munch took a vow of silence, which he broke only once when he laughed at a Chuck Norris joke.

Dedicated to protecting the city of Kendallville, Musashi Munch lives alone and works alone. Grateful citizens, if they are wise, will thank him by leaving him alone.